The House that Feminism Built: Cannibalism in AdoptionLand
When we begin to think we are entitled to sit back and decide who is worthy of being a mother based on some half assed information, then we are no better than the industry that we are supposed to be aligned to fight against. It is so sad and disheartening to see that we have our own Trio Solutions and Jessica Mundys in our own community.
But what this has taught me is that the distrust of the mother who can consider adoption is still there. We are still guilty for even considering adoption by too many folks; whether fathers who had no choice, adoptees who are hurt themselves and need to fulfill their own projected fantasies of saving themselves, or just other outside bystanders and players, just do not get it. It is still too tempting to see the relinquishing mother as an “other”; a freak who somehow deserves the pain and suffering of maternal separation based on her own doing. It makes me very sad, but thought this is a truth I cannot and will not ignore again; sometimes the only ones who understand the mothers is other mothers and that is that. I guess there is an “us” and them. I thought we could transcend that. I was wrong. (more...)
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